My skills

In case you weren't aware, I have a lot of good skills.

One of my most useful skills: bug killing*

I got particularly good practice on the mish. I don't get to practice my flip-flop cockroach-killing technique very often these days, but my one-hand mosquito grab comes in handy in the summers--none of that two-hand clap method for me.

Tonight was momentous when I actually managed to kill a fly barehanded. Flies have a more erratic flying pattern than mosquitoes, and I usually have to smash them with a flyswatter after they've landed. But tonight, I found one trapped in my bathroom, and since the buzzing sound was totally totally annoying, I started grabbing at it.

Suddenly the buzzing stopped.

I looked down, and the fly was caught between the fingers of my fist.

Yes, I am awesome.


*I am not a violent person, and typically I do not kill bugs when they are outside--unless they are dangerous bugs like wasps. I only kill them when they come inside. They belong outside, and as long as they stay there, they are safe from me.

I can't believe I missed this show.

Apparently, a school in Spanish Fork, Utah, decided to have students put on a play of the short story "The Lottery" to teach the students about peer pressure.

The students were in 5th and 6th grade.

Some parents were upset.

Home again

For those of you who don't know, I just got back from a fabulous two-week vacation to the East. I visited my sister in Delaware (just outside Philadelphia); my old roommate in New York; and my MTC companion in Boston. Now I must return to normal life.

Good things about coming home from vacation:

• sleeping in my own bed
• having my own bathroom again (everyone knows I'm not good at sharing)
• less intense allergies (love that East Coast pollen)
• more mountains, fewer trees
  

Bad things about coming home from vacation:

• unpacking (four days now, and I'm not done)
  
• readjusting to the time zone--I'm going to bed late on Mountain Time and waking up bright and early on Eastern Time
  
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• returning to responsibilities
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• readjusting to the time zone--four days! and I can't convince myself to sleep in yet?
  
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• cooking my own food again--I like street vendors and restaurants
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• unpacking--I think the next time I go on vacation, I'm just not going to take anything with me. The less I pack, the less I will have to unpack--happy day--either that, or I should just never come home from vacation
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So, what's your least favorite part about coming home from vacation?

Picture this

Me sitting on the couch

watching Biggest Loser (not my favorite show, but I catch one or two episodes a year)

eating chocolate ice cream

straight from the carton.

That pretty much sums up my life.

I study more linguistics

In my Psycholinguistics class last week, we learned about speech errors: pauses, repetitions, saying the wrong word, etc. When we broke into groups to discuss common speech errors, I proclaimed I am very aware of my own speech, and I hardly ever make speech errors.

On Monday, I was at FHE telling a story to a small group of friends. During the course of the story, I found myself making speech error after speech error. I was having trouble finding the right words, pronouncing the words, putting the words into coherent sentences--it was terrible. And the worst part was that I could hear myself making mistakes, but couldn't seem to prevent them.

Sensitive linguist that I am, I was intrigued by my experience and took the time to analyze it the next day. At first, I wondered if I really make that many speech errors on a regular basis and just don't notice. After awhile, I conceded that I do make more speech errors than I originally thought--but not that many. So there must have been some external factor affecting my speech production. (Studies show that stress, alcohol, and a number of other factors can increase the number of speech errors a person makes.)

I thought back to the scene of the crime, and the first thing I remembered was that the boy I was mildly interested in at the time was in the group and was standing near me.

And that was really all I could remember.

I couldn't remember who else was in the group of friends. Or what story I had been telling.

Which sums up why I had trouble producing coherent sentences.

And proves that I turn into moron when I am around boys I like.

I study linguistics

So I spend a lot of time analyzing language--including my own. I am constantly intrigued by my colloquial grammar choices and my inability to access basic vocabulary words ('thing' describes about 80% of the nouns in my life).

Most recently I've been noticing my pronunciation, which has lead me to the discovery that I have several speech impediments.

I was never sent to speech therapy as a child, and I've gotten along just fine all these years with my imperfect consonants, but it's still been a shocking realization. Apparently, I cannot produce a proper word-initial 'L,' so that when I introduce myself to people, I often have to say my name twice, more if the conversation takes place over the phone. Actually, I cannot produce a proper 'L' at all, but it's most noticeable when the 'L' comes at the beginning of the word. I became most aware of my 'L' problem when I tried to say the word 'lily,' and even in my head it sounded somewhat muddy.

I also do not produce 'G' quite right. The problem with the 'G' is very similar to the 'L,' so I have decided to blame the shape of my tongue.

The other problem is 'S.' There is sometimes a slight whistle when I make and 'S' sound. I think my dad and my brother have the same issue, so this might also be genetic, caused by the shape of our mouths or our teeth.

Linguists are not really speech pathologists. I have no idea how one goes about fixing these kinds of imperfections. Fixing grammar and word pronunciation are easy enough for me. In high school I even made a conscious effort to shift all of my vowels from the Utah dialect to standard American English (though I didn't get it quite right because sometimes I end up sounding like I'm from Canada). These problems with the consonants baffle me because they have so much to do with the way the mouth is shaped and the placement of the tongue and the release of air and although I can hear that I am doing it wrong, I do not know what specifically is wrong about it.

Seriously, so funny

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook, and I thought it was hilarious. And true.